Dear Family and Friends!!
Thank you for all the birthday wishes! I'm continually amazed at how many people remembered :) So thank you! I think I was born this week 20 years ago, because God knew I would be at one of the hardest times of my mission! So all the extra love was really needed and helped me so much :)
This week we had zone conference with our mission president and his wife. It was
on Thursday and our mission president's wife had us visualize things. First it was growing up, preparing for mission, MTC, now, and when we got home, and wait for it wait for it... "Imagine your are at the altar with your eternal companion." Ugg.. This happened right at the time I think Dallin came home, but what do I know? Haha So that was rough.. I had to go outside and re-focus myself a bit. But I was able to push through that day. But I did let my natural man take over a bit here and there.. And just thought, "This is too hard. Is this even worth it?" But of course, I know what the answer is. It is so worth it. I know Heavenly Father called me on this mission at this time for a reason. And I'm going to find out why and make every day worth it. My mission has become sacred to me and I can't imagine where I would be without it. Sorry if that was a little personal, but I'm sure plenty of you are wondering if I am sane. And I'm proud to say I am!! (At least I think I am) :)
So real quick, crazy guy at the farmers market.. He started talking to us about how Joseph Smith got the BOM from aliens, and how we weren't Christian, because we were giving balloon swords to kids.. People are NUTS!! But don't worry, I kindly rebuked him so we could continue making our balloons without scaring the kids.. haha :) Just thought I'd tell you that!
So I had a day this week where I just didn't want to be in Moscow. The work here (for now) is pretty slow, and there's a lot of hard-hearted people. I've been praying for their hearts to soften and to find new people to teach EVERY DAY, and expressed my faith and knowledge that I KNOW that God is preparing people for us to teach. Still nothing.. So thats been a little discouraging. So I fasted on Sunday to find my purpose and help love the people more. Guess what? It worked! I received an amazing answer. While someone was speaking at church, she was expressing her experience working in primary and how she felt so inadequate and unprepared for it. But then she realized that she wasn't there to teach the kids, the kids were there to teach her. The spirit just really hit me in that moment. I realized that yes, I'm a missionary and I need to teach the gospel and share what I know to be true, and I will continue to do that, but I realized that the Lord wants me to learn from these people. I must need a lot of help, so God puts me in the path of people that can help me be a better person. I felt such joy and love for all those that I'm serving. That was a HUGE blessing! And I know God answers our prayers :)
So for transfers this next week, I know I'm getting a new comp, because Sister Crump is headed to Brazil! I'm scared to death that I'm training, because my zone leaders mentioned it on the phone.. I don't think I'm ready to train a brand new missionary.. But if so, please pray for me! Especially with patience! :) Well I love you all :) thank you thank you for all the love! It was helped me so much this week :) Have a great week and remember that God knows your path and knows what you need :) I love you Lord and my Savior so much, and I'm looking forward to strengthening my relationship with Him :)
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